The Odd Things You Might See in a Five-Star

Awkward title, don't you think? It's not like I spend a lot of time in five-stars. And most people I know don't spend any time in them. But, once in a while, there is a good deal (Istanbul!), or we are getting married, or having a ten-year anniversary, and Jeff splurges.

I confess, I don't put up much of a fight if he is willing to splurge. I mean, we did take the bus to Budapest.

But, on those rare occasions when we stay at a five-star, I do feel a as though we are doing something special. And I try to soak in the je ne sais quoi, five-starred-ness, of the whole experience. It's not like I'm all wide-eyed, and like, oooohhhhh! look! champagne at brekkie! But I do enjoy the extra effort the staff makes, I marvel in the bountiful breakfasts, I luxuriate in the fine bedding, and I generally appreciate the experience.

That said, our hosts, the Intercontinental in Budapest, have apparently encountered some of those Rudapests. Because, well, look:

The irons are secured to the ironing table! Locked down! Which would suggest to me that at some point they have had a problem with guests stealing irons. I'd like to repeat that, at 11 is one louder: they have had a problem with guests stealing irons.  (<--note I have resorted to bold type, which in the history of this blog, I have done before exactly never.)  

Seriously. Can you imagine shelling out the moula for a fancy schmancy sort of hotel, and sneaking out with the iron? No, I thought not. Me neither. Really. While I would seriously contemplate scaling the Chain Bridge while chemically inconveneicend, the idea of stealing an iron is so far outside of my sphere it might as well be in another galaxy.

And then there was this:

This is the room number sign on our floor, directing you right or left, depending on your room number. Now, all I saw was the #1 taped up with packaging tape. The tape was on for a day, then disappeared. So here's what I came up with (based on foreknowledge of the permanently tethered iron). Some moron had decided they wanted the #1. They removed it and went on their merry way. The hotel had to replace the #1, so they glued it up, but stuck packaging tape on it while the glue dried.

I have no idea if this scenario is fact or fiction, but can you come up with a better reason for the packaging tape?

Also in residence at the Intercontinenal were the NATO COMEDS; in English, the Chiefs of Military Medical Services. They had signs and banners all over the hotel, not to mention this:

And since it was a Plenary meeting (yes, I had to look that up), one assumes "all of them" were there. I don't know exactly how many COMEDS there are, or at what level the Plenary was meant to respresent, but the hotel was prety full. And the COMEDS had the meeting rooms pretty well locked up.

I know this because the meeting rooms were on the 1st floor, same as the fitness room. And when I wandered up from the lobby to check out the workout options, I happened upon this guy:

Five star, schmive star. You never know what you are going to find. Also: always carry your camera.

And so, our time in Budapest was over. Short, sweet, and childfree. We  were a little early for the bus, but, I managed to squeeze in a little knitting.

Comments

[Gwynna]

Can I be an utter bore and suggest, given the proximity about and chained-ness to the iron rest, that they don't have as much a problem with guests stealing the irons as the guests leaving the irons places they ought not to. While, I'm just guessing here, said irons are still hot. Places like the bed. The floor. The chairs. The bathtub.

This could be far more of an concern to hotel staff and management than simply ripping off the irons.

Though, on the other hand, I have heard that ritzy hotels have major problems with their towels and bathrobes disappearing. Perhaps it's a cultural thing. :)

[Ellen]

Wow, that's a really great thought, Gwynna! Perhaps I am too cynical??

[Monica]

I once watched a TV soap opera called Barbelon or something like that. It was about stories happening in a five-star hotel. Really eye-opening!

What a celebration for your ten-year anniversary! You have to tell Jeff 'Well Done!'.

[North Face Coats]

Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.