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Imagine that you are driving ... wait, that's not right. Imagine that you are being driven down the street, windows rolled down, and you are listening to the usual sounds of the city, when, suddenly, your ears are assaulted by this strange squeaking sound. No, squeaking isn't right. It's definitely a natural sound. Not like a mechanical squeaking, but a rhythmic chirping kind of sound, maybe? And you peer studiously out the window, brow furrowed, trying to divine the source of the ear splitting sound, (this is where the "being driven" thing ranks far superior to the "driving" thing, although in general, I have to say I prefer driving rather than being driven), and, as the chirping sound escalates rapidly from ear splitting to positively deafening, you see a guy on a bicycle (who must be seriously hearing impaired, you think) with these strapped to it:
What would you guess? Wee birds? Windup anime toys? Do-It-Yourself Air Raid Sirens?
The correct answer is crickets. Like, Jiminy, Pinocchio's conscious.
Which really only begs the question: why? Why are crickets kept - and sold!? The guy with the bike full of noise pollution was a Cricket Vendor. We asked (purely by rote, you understand) our standard question: pets or meat? Which left me still scratching my head. Crickets as either pets or meat aren't exactly intuitive. But further research has led us to add a third category! Pets, meat or sport!
Shockingly enough, the interwebz aren't totally clear on the function of bamboo caged crickets in China, but one of the options is Cricket Fighting. While I had not imagined our friendly, curious, concerned and grateful chirping insect friends as being Natures Tobacco Spitting Fighting Machines, it seems that in China, they are bred for socio-pathic qualities rather then cuteness.
Wiki provides this fun tidbit: "Crickets had pedigrees and would be carefully bred by knowledgeable
keepers. Keepers kept their crickets in fighting shape with a carefully
controlled diet. Ground worms, fish and water chestnuts was a popular
diet for protein and nutrients. In some cases, even veterinary care
and medicine was administered to keep a cricket in fighting or breeding
shape. Also, everyday a new female cricket was provided for the
champion, during a time of three months." All of this for critter that live on average three months. Less if in Grudge Match IIV, Hugo The Hungry offs the head of Chip the Chirper.
Although, to be fair, there is a fourth category: entertainment. Crickets are also kept in cages so that people can listen to their songs. Apparently this is quite an ancient tradition in China, dating back a thousand years ago. Single crickets, I should point out, are probably quite lovely to listen to. But I certainly would not want to spend my days as a cricket vendor. The noise levels supersede those of a pre-school class that broke into and consumed the lolly stash.
Houskeeping Note: We are actually back in the US now, but I have a few posts I'd really like to finish up!
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